::I Switched::

My new blog can be found here:

www.xanga.com/nixzone1986

::Our First Monthsary::

It's been exactly one month and counting...


For our monthsary, we just went to a Christmas Party at my friend's work. Cost us $50 bucks, but its worth it I guess... We had fun tho. I'm too lazy to get detailed right now so here's some pics. Enjoy!


The couple celebrating their monthsary.

Me and my gal Richelle who also won "Best Dressed" that night.

Me and Marc... I love the color combination.

We have pics exactly like this one, a year ago.

::The Guys:: 2/3 = Gay.

::DecemBRRR::

December is here once again. Aside from the holiday atmosphere, the thing I like most about this month is the weather. Coldness is here once again. So here I am freezing: Brrr, its cold in here!!! lol. Before I start my blog update, here’s a you tube video to welcome the holiday season.


Such a nice song isn't it? But anyway,

::Lazy::
I don’t know if it’s the weather, the holiday season, or him? But for some reason, I’m just too lazy to do anything. I don’t want it to affect my academics but its too late. It already did =( I withdrew from a course, and I’m failing my Math class for missing the test today. Yeah! It means that I have to retake it again next semester. I'm just now realizing that I’m wasting so much time for not putting effort in passing these classes; but for some reason, I find it easier to give up than to even try at all. I don’t know? I’m not as academically enhanced/ active as I used to be. Thank God I’m no longer planning to transfer ::sigh:: I’m convinced that I’m going to pursue nursing. For now, I guess its the saying, “try harder next time”.

::Family::
Coming out to my parents is the hardest thing that I had to do in my life. I mean, telling them about who I really am and not knowing what their reactions would be is too much to handle! But yeah. I’m over the“coming out to the parents” phase. And the good thing is, they’re ok with it. Sure it was hard for them, but we had “THE TALK” and everything’s fine. But there’s consequences though... I can’t put make up on and dress like a drag queen. Darn!!!

::MYSPACE::
I updated my myspace.com and its soooo hmmm, nice looking lol. No! I mean its really really good looking. Thanks to my boifriend… hmmm Raym??? Raffy! Yeah him lol j/k. But yeah, I also uploaded a whole bunch of pix with the homies!

Kim's Party

Marc's Car

After the Pacquiao Fight!

2 out of 3 actually know what they're doing!

L.Q. lol

::RAFFY::
Have I already mentioned the fact that I have a boifriend and I’m so in love with him? Hmm? Taj Mahal ko talaga siya to the max!!! MAHAL ko sya!!! lol Mahal na mahal!.

And here’s the cheesy part:

There’s just a certain part of my day,
A certain moment, that I think of him.
Then I suddenly realize,
WHOA! I really love this guy.
And I want our relationship to last for a long time.

When my day’s not going so well,
I just think of him and suddenly,
I have no worries.
I’m just happy that I have him there
To talk to and be with
At the end of a rough day…

B.T.W. (by the way lol) I love Thai (aka Thailand lmao: the country where prostitution is legal WHOOT!WHOOT!) food because of him. It’s the exotic food we love to share lol.

::Job search::
I don’t think I’m going to get hired anytime soon. I really want to get the library job that I applied for. I like the hours that they have there. Gosh! I’m really hoping that they call me soon. I need to pay my cellphone bill.

::DANCE! DANCE!::
I really want to dance lately. I mean performance/routine type dancing. So I’m going to take dance classes next semester so I can perform again. Hip/hop and jazz dance classes. Yeah yuh! lol

::SAN FRANCISCO::

Another trip I’m taking next Friday... I’m going up to Frisco for three days with my Taj Mahal/ baby boi lol. We’re going to drive up there to visit and tour his hometown and meet his kaibigans. I’m going to fly back home solo on Monday morning though since he’s going to stay there for Christmas. Gah! I miss him already!

I’m going back to San Francisco again. But when I return here, "I’d be leaving not only him there, but also my heart and my soul". Now can I get an AWWW?!?

AWWW! Nixxon is so Sweet!

::Homeland::
As I’m watching my Filipino channel, I realized how hard it is to make a living back in my mother homeland. Everyone seem to have a hard time to make a living. It makes me really thankful about the things that I have now, things that I often take for granted. I always complain about my life, but in reality, my life is not bad whatsoever. I am blessed for having the things that I have, and for that… I am thankful.

I Want Him to Come Home

I miss him very much...two more days and I'll get to see my baby...

To My Lola,

I've been missing my lola lately. Especially tonight, I found myself in tears all of a sudden, thinking about her. She passed away almost 2 years ago after a long fight to live a normal life once again, but sadly she passed away. I miss everything about her: her cookings, her love and care for her kids and grandkids, watching TFC with her, spending mornings at her house when I decided to skip first period, running errands for her at Hoa Fong, holidays especially Christmas... its never the same without my lola. I miss her very much. I know she's in a very special place right now, looking over us, over me... but I just can't help but miss her.

To my lola,
You're not and will never be forgotten. We hope that you're happy wherever you are. I love you very much and I will hold you very close to my heart... forever.

A Thanksgiving Blog

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the official start of the holidays. Normally, I would be very happy, but since I’m the “broke-est” man alive, hehe I’m not so happy. Why? Coz I’m not gonna be able to shop and spend =( gah. I really need a job, but I’m not doing anything about it…

Academia:
School once again is the shit… and I mean that in the most negative way as possible lol. I’m not doing bad, but again I could do a lot better, but the semester is almost over so I’m looking forward to that =).

Coming Out Update:
So from the last blog, I told my mom about my situation… but the big TWIST; haha I know you didn’t see this one coming: my dad found out too! After overhearing a conversation between my sister and my mom about my sexual orientation, my dad now knows that I am gay… YIPPIE! Of course conversation took place and here’s a list of some things that came out of my parent’s mouths:

• It’s just a phase… u can change.

• U should be ashamed of yourself.

• U’re gonna be lonely forever.

• You don’t act gay, so you can’t be gay.

• Blah! Blah! Blah!

I’m GAY!!! lol ACCEPT IT!

In spite of these stereotypical remarks, my parents and I are ok now. I guess they figured that I’m not one of those stereotypical gay guys that they know: dressing like a girl, flamy type, paying guys to be their "papa" lol. I'm anything but that! Now it seems like nothing ever happened. Everything's the same. My coming out didn’t make as huge of an impact as I’d hope for. Eh! Whatever!

LOVE:
Aside from coming out, I managed to find someone to love. Seems like the list that I made of things I want to accomplish at the age of 20 is getting checked one by one hehe. But yeah! I’ve never felt so content being with someone in my life. He’s different and much more that I could ever ask for. He is a special guy doing things that only he and I know hehe. I don’t want to get too detailed. That’s all I’m gonna say. He’s making me happy. I really miss him tho. He’s in San Francisco for the Thanksgiving break, so I haven’t seen him for over a week =(

Major:
I finally decided that I’m gonna give Nursing a try. My mom is right, I don’t think I can be as successful if I major in something else. Its about time I pick the major that I want. I feel like I’m wasting my time and money in school; and yes! I've wasted a year and a half taking courses that I don’t even need. I have a lot of classes still to take in order to apply to the Nursing Program; most are lab sciences. So future semesters are gonna be tough for me. I feel like with this career path, I can be affluent and successful.

PACMAN:
Haha random I know; but I just have to write about the Pacquaio Vs. Morales fight that took place last Saturday. Guess who kicked someone’s butt? Yup Yup… it was the “People’s Champ” Manny Pacquaio who once again brought pride to the Filipino’s… Mabuhay si Manny!!!

My FOB Side:
Hehe again, soo random. I am addicted to a soap opera: “Bakekang” sounds weird I know, but its really good. I love the story and I can’t miss an episode. Me and my mom are fcukin addicted lol. Oh btw, if someone wants to make me straight, the bring these fine ass Filipinas to me lol:

• Sarah Geronimo

• Katrina Halili

• Issa Calzado

• Isabel Oli

• Angel Locsin

DaVinci Code
I watched the gosh darn film and I was hella confused. Fcukin movie didn’t make any sense. Eh I guess I’m not very religious… ATTENTION: IT'S CONFIRMED, NIXXON BARRERA is not a religious person! People keep telling me to read the book instead since the movie made an awful mess of it; but yeah right! I don’t even have time to read things that I’m required to… I also watched “Ice Age: The Meltdown” with my brother. It was a funny movie, but I realized that I was laughing more than he did haha.

P.S.
November is such a weird month, I just realized that November 2004, exactly 2 years ago: I came out to my sis and that’s when I have Onad, my very first boyfriend. And now; 2006 I came out to my parents and I have Raffy as a boyfriend. Hmm. Weird.

But anyway...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

The Day I Came Out To My Mother

Shitty day.
I’m having one of those days today. I thought today would just be a regular day, but BOY! was I wrong. Tonight has been a very crazy night, to put a bit of decency to what happened.

My dad came in my room and apparently could smell marijuana. The guy clearly doesn’t know me. He should know that I would not do such thing… but NO!!! He accused me of doing drugs. For a guy who doesn’t smoke, not even a cigarette, that's really insulting. So I had to talk back… the talk back turned to him hitting me… and my mom came in to intervene.

The bitch (please excuse my vulgar word, but I’m just really angry) talked shit about my friends being a “BAD INFLUENCE” and even criticized my studies. The “Father of the Year” doesn’t see any of my good qualities: all he sees are my bad side, which I’m not gonna deny, I do have it.

Anyway, my nanay (mom) who I love very much, came in to talk to me in a sincere, a very sincere way. In her motherly tone, she asked me if I'm doing anything drug-ish. I will never lie to my mom so I told her the truth. She told me that she was there for me and I should tell her about my life. Anything that’s been buggin me, problems that I’m facing. And there it was, the perfect time to say it: “Problema ko, bakla ako”. Then there was silence… I was a bit relieved, a bit embarrased, a bit scared of how she's going to react. Eh, its about time I told her.

Then she asked “why?”

I said “I don’t know”. Hehe I didn't want to lecture about the "Nature, Nurture" debate; gene contribution, the Kinsey Report, etc. Now is not the time...
(its weird how I can still manage to have a sense of humor during these times ::lol::)

Anyway, she told me to respect my dad and walked out of my room. I’m pretty sure we’ll talk about it tomorrow. When my dad’s not around; the guy’s narrow minded, he won’t get it. We’ll see what’s gonna happen…

November…first comes “LOVE”; second “Coming Out” … hmm what else will this month bring me???